At some point in every relationship, a switch flips.

Casual dating transitions into serious dating and you begin thinking about the future.

You look for signs from the dating gods and ask your friends for advice.

But deep down you know that only you can determine the most nerve-wracking question of them all:

Is he THE ONE?

It’s a completely normal question to ask yourself and, instead of working on gut instinct, there are plenty of things you can consider before making the ultimate commitment.

In order to assist you in figuring it out, I have compiled a list of the four features to examine to know if he’s the one…

1. Attraction

One of the most important things in a relationship is mutual attraction, but not in the way you might think.

When first setting out on your dating journey, it is vital to be physically attracted to a man. But that kind of attraction fades, or at the very least, develops and changes with time.

Attraction is better measured by the things that are more skin deep.

Men are much more than their appearances and they will only get you so far if you’re looking to build a meaningful life with someone.

Remember, marriage is (hopefully) a lifelong commitment.

That means that the right one will need to be able to meet your physical, mental, and spiritual needs.

2. Personality

It’s no secret that there are complementary personalities in addition to those that clash.

Often times couples have opposite personalities and it just works.

Equally common are relationships that seem good on paper or on dating websites, but which are mismatched in real life.

But even people deep enough into a relationship to consider marriage might be blind to a potentially poor mix.

If you find that you balance your partner’s positives and shortcomings, then you’re probably on the path to success.

If, however, your personalities just don’t click, it’s foolish to think that marriage will help matters.

3. Family

The trope of the mean (or evil) in-laws is so common that some believe that it’s inevitable.

This is a mistake, however.

Not only should you know your boyfriend’s parents well, you should also get along with them.

Getting along with your partner’s parents is almost as important as your relationship with him.

Although men don’t have the same relationship with their mother that you likely have, they still value and crave their approval.

Additionally, the ways in which your partner interacts with his family may be indicative of how he will interact with the one you create together.

4. Finances

Finally, there’s money.

It’s not everything, but in relationships, it can seem like it. Especially in times of stress.

In fact, money is the main stressor cited by people in failing marriages.

But I’m not advocating you only marry someone who is rich or has means.

What I am telling you is to ensure that you are on the same page about how money should be spent and how it will be shared once you’ve tied the knot.

It’s also important to keep an eye on how he spends money now.

Is he reckless or does he save? Does he understand the consequences of his spending or does he seem to indulge every time he wants something for himself?

These can be signs of financial issues to come.


Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you will make in your life.

Often times, if you believe that he’s the one, he probably is.

If, however, you have your doubts, it’s better to consider them now rather than some time in the future when it’s too late.

About the Author

Pauline Plott is a London-based blogger who became a dating guru after learning the psychology behind modern romance and signing up for every dating website in pursuit of relationship bliss. She shares her reviews and opinions on